With no solution to my problem in sight, I uttered the frustrated phrase “I give up!” With my head in my hands, I declared defeat. I didn’t really want to quit, but it seemed my options had run out. I’m not sure how many times in my life I’ve said, “I give up,” but it’s been plenty.
Can you relate? Ever feel like giving up – like throwing in the towel? Like you’re in a perpetual wrestling match with your work, with your parents, with your spouse, with your past, your future, with yourself…or even with God? And you just want to give up!?!
Still, one thing is certain for every follower of Christ: Just because we feel defeated doesn’t mean we are left for dead. Quite the opposite! From the depths of our heart, a little signal pings and fires a rescue flare called hope. That’s the difference between us and the world. Our hope is never lost.
The day I was let go from my previous church. I really did feel like giving up. I was anxious, tired and frustrated with church and with myself. But instead of giving up, I found my lips praying a different set of words: Jesus, I surrender.
Nobody likes to raise a white flag. We’ve been taught that more is better, and failure is not an option. The world tells us, “You can do it all!” And we try. We overextend our time, overextend our abilities and overextend our resources. Yet all this overreaching just leaves us gripping the end of our rope.
Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes letting go is where our strength is really tested. Surrender is willful acceptance and yielding to God and his will. Ultimately, it is finding our true identity not in what we have or don’t have, or what we’ve done or haven’t done. We are not the sum of what people say or don’t say about us, and that includes what we say about ourselves as the evil one whispers lies in our ear. Surrender is letting go of all that and taking hold of something much better: the truth about God and us.
What do we need to let go of in surrender? This is not an exhaustive list for sure, but an essential one for me at least. Here are three things...
The Past
Giving up is believing there’s only a past; letting go is knowing there’s also a future. It’s very difficult to live present to the present if we are being held captive by the past. We need to let go of our guilt, grief and grudges.
I’m not suggesting we deny the past, minimize or stuff it, but Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, the new has come.” and in Philippians 3:13, “One thing I do: forgetting what is behind and pressing forward.”
Comparison
When comparison happens – and it does - nobody wins. Someone always feels like they are not enough. Someone else feels like they are more than enough. Comparison kills. We either wallow in pity or we are puffed with pride. We feel superior or inferior. It’s a lose, lose.
Cue the highlight reels of social media.
But there IS an antidote to the virus of comparison. We find it in the words of Jesus to his disciples in Matthew 20:26-27, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave...”. The way up is actually down.
Surrender…let go of competition and comparison. Let go of your image of the perfect job, the perfect family, the perfect life. We all have that image, an ideal, that soon becomes an ordeal that leaves us looking for a new deal.
We are all made in the image of God, and we all fall short. Both are true of us. Don’t compare and don’t compete. Let it go and surrender that lie to the truth that God loves you for you. Just be you. That’s much easier anyway, isn’t it?
Control
Do you like being in control? I do, but I’m not! Neither are you. We’re not in control! It’s a delusion, providing only a false sense of security and safety.
Wanting to be in control of our emotions, relationships and circumstances, is a pretty normal human response to feeling out of control. But even if we do everything manage everything perfectly, even if everything and everyone falls in line, that doesn’t guarantee anything. We can still fall and fail.
But don’t give up! Instead, let go of trying to control the things you can’t control. Perhaps, there are few things we can control (e.g. our attitudes, our effort and our choices). But everything else, surrender it to the Lord, to the one who cares and is in control. We can trust Him!
To quote the words of Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” I also love the comforting and encouraging words of I Peter 5:6-7, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”.
As we surrender to the Lord, our giving up is replaced by his lifting up. By surrendering you receive. When you let go, when you willfully accept and yield to God and his will, then you can take hold of something that’s real and true and lasts. Jesus put it this way in Matthew 19:24,
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
In the words of the hymn...
All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.
I surrender all,
I surrender all;
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.