She snuggles in closely, and leans on my shoulder, looking up at me with a sparkle in her beautiful brown eyes and sweetly smiles, “I love you the mostest, Lovey.” She pauses and then asks if I have happy tears.
Our 3-year-old granddaughter, Noah Kay, is 36 pounds of cuddle and snuggle. I know when she wraps her arms around my neck and tells me this, she’s not only saying she loves me, but also that she knows she can trust me and has no doubt I am there for her. This ritual occurs almost every time I see her. She feels safe, and this practice helps reassure her, giving her a sense of security and love. I hope she will always experience my love in ever-growing ways. And I also know, she will come to maturity and see some of my brokenness. She will someday know that her Lovey needs Jesus and grace and forgiveness.
For now, she only sees Lovey’s love.
Any grandmother reading this is either crying happy tears right now or saying aloud, “Thank you, Jesus!” This is the moment when I’d be delighted to pull out a photo or two to share with you, but my purpose in telling you about these sweet encounters has to do with what I’m experiencing in this season of prayer and fasting.
MORE of God’s love.
This was the answer to a question jotted down in my journal weeks before the fast began. How might God grow you through this fast?
My first challenge was to adjust my thoughts from going hungry to being offered an opportunity for a life-changing encounter with God. My hope was to focus my attention not on what I go without by putting off but with what I get by putting on. More of God himself and understanding the depth of his love for me.
There is no doubt that God loves me mostest. I can trust Him. He is there for me. He loves me when I’m unlovable.
Richard Foster said, “Fasting reminds us that we are sustained “by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” (Matt. 4:4). Food does not sustain us; God sustains us. In Christ, “All things hold together” (Col. 1:17). Therefore, in experiences of fasting we are not so much abstaining from food as we are feasting on the word of God. Fasting is feasting! (Celebration of Discipline)
In addition to breakfast and lunch, I am fasting from sweets. Maybe more than meals, going without sweets might bring me to open my pantry thoughtlessly. Thanks to Rob for encouraging us last week to not go easy on ourselves and expect that God has big things for us as we deny self. No pain, no gain. Less food for our tummy is more place for Him. I’ve been encouraged by the Scripture reading and praying from the devotional guide each morning as well, and mindful that we are doing this in community--Together is better.
As we finish day 11, surrounded by distractions and a world lacking concern for the things of God and the care of the soul, fasting requires intentionality beyond ourselves. We need God to teach us to step away from the noise and chaos of life. We need the Spirit to do in us the work that only He can.
If I were aiming at simply skipping meals, this experience would be no more than an exertion of my willpower. When I run to God, asking for his help in love, I’m recognizing my weakness and the residue of the old self--pride, arrogance, self-reliance, man-pleasing. All gradually losing their hold on me because of the finished work of Christ on the cross. I’m learning that more of God’s love requires my emptiness and a longing to be filled by him. Not putting food in my mouth provides room for me to pray, to be silent and listen, to read Scripture, and to worship as an expression of love and devotion to God.
This prayer of Paul for the spiritual strength of the church at Ephesus has been one I’ve prayed for years for others and myself. It has helped me battle fear and insecurity. It is a beautiful visual I have every morning, and currently with every growling of my tummy, that God’s love is longer, wider, higher, and deeper than anything that I face. God loves me mostest. That’s reason for the happiest of tears.
“I pray that you, being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God’s love, and to know Christ’s love that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 4:17-19 CSB
God is acquainted with your and my ways, including the spiritual rhythms He is teaching us. The depth of His love for us is deeper than our appetites, bigger than our fears of failure, and any hurts that seem to separate us from Him. Let’s thank God for filling us with all the fullness of Him, that He is changing our hearts to know Jesus and be like Jesus. He is strengthening us not only to do this at home but when we step out into the world. Only in His love, do we have something to give away. Let’s purpose in fasting to find His love more satisfying and enjoyable than food, and in its filling to overflow into the lives of our families, friends, neighbors, and co-workers.
May our fasting be a feasting that fills our cups to overflowing and may God’s love fill us MOSTEST…and overflow into the lives of those around us.