Every single day, around the U.S., hundreds of thousands (and maybe more) of men and women walk into a room with others and introduce themselves to both familiar faces and to those they do not know. The introduction goes something like this: “Hello, my name is ___________ and I am an alcoholic.” Day after day, month after month, year after year, their introduction is the same. But why, we might ask?
These brave men and women say this because they are learning to tell the truth about themselves and their weakness. In addition, they are reminding themselves that they will ALWAYS BE IN RECOVERY…ALWAYS! They ALWAYS need others in their lives who know all of them and still love them. Their daily battle with this specific sin is a great reminder for you and me that we are ALWAYS in recovery and in a battle with our own specific sins. In all honesty, I have done at least a fair job of being transparent with my own battle with sin over the years of teaching, counseling, and pouring into other men. But there is a caveat here that I recently became aware of…99% of the time my transparency was about my PAST struggles, not my present ones.
I do feel some fear telling you this. Not because I am wallowing in some manure pile of sin while living a double life, but because I want you to think well of me. I want you to have a pastor who gives you hope and encouragement. I want to first work “through it” before I tell you the truth while I’m actually “in it”. At the end of the day, it’s called “self-protection” to prevent you from seeing me ‘Walk with God…With a Limp”.
I’m learning that you need to see my limp (and that many of you probably already do). I believe, or have been told, that ‘my limp’ can actually encourage and give you hope. Why? Because you to have a ‘limp’. I need to love other ‘limpers’ just as I need other ‘limpers’ to love me. As a follower of Jesus for more than 40 years, it’s humbling to still be weak, needy, fearful, etc., but the reality is you also are in a fight with your own sin, maybe even the same sins for many years. Since this is true of both of us, allow me to welcome you to what some have called ‘The Club of Discipleship’ or ‘The Church’.
Don’t get me wrong! We are not here to excuse our sin, but we are here, in Christ church, to introduce ourselves, week after week, with the words: “Hi, my name is Jeff and I’m a sinner and I struggle with _____________” (you fill in the blank). Just like you, I have good days and bad days, even very bad days. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a wrestling match with the devil as he comes off the top rope and lands on top of me. Other days, I seem to do fine. But even then, there are strong temptations. Even if I find myself winning the battle, my mind and heart can be thinking of ‘that thing” all day long. What’s even more maddening is that when I do well and think I’m making some progress, I begin to feel proud of myself…and BOOM…my flesh is flexing its muscles of pride and self-righteousness. It can drive me crazy. I cannot escape my own worst enemy…myself. (See Paul’s same struggle in Romans 7:18-25)
Welcome! Welcome to the sanctification process, to the Christian life, to Jacob’s life (see Genesis 32:22-32), and to the Jesus who says to us every single day: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentile and lowly in heart, and you WILL find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30). As we learn from Jesus, one of the many things we learn is…He never calls us to become testimonies to a complete life transformation in which we are somehow perfect and/or better than others. Instead, He calls us into a moment by moment, day by day living relationship with Himself and the Father through the power of the Holy Spirit in which you and I are both completely dependent upon and secure in Him. Even when we fail? Yep! Even when we sin in the same way over and over? Yep! This is why it’s called ‘Amazing Grace”!
There is no doubt, that every genuine Christ follower desires to be free from sin in this life, but the problem is we are still in this life. We are still this side of heaven and therefore, we are still at war with ourselves, at war with the sinful nature that does not tuck its tail between its legs and flee when we initially trusted Christ. Our sinful nature, instead, declares war at that very moment.
Saint Augustine put it this way: “During this earthly pilgrimage our life cannot be free from temptation, for none of us comes to know ourselves except through the experience of temptation.” One of the many things we learn about ourselves via temptation is that we so need to acknowledge our deep dependence upon Jesus. As hard as that can be to admit, it is so true, and it is the ‘truth’ that will set us free.
Here is the GREAT NEWS! Jesus has won the war we are in and in Him, we too are victorious. We are His beloved and His wonderful, all flowing grace to us over time proves that He is never going to change from being the GREAT friend and forgiver of GREAT sinners who all walk with a limp.
I look forward to introducing ourselves to each other anew with these words: “Hi, my name is ______, I am a great sinner who is loved by a great savior, and that great savior is working in me to make me more like him.” Or, we might say, “Can I show you (tell you about) my limp?”